TESTIMONIALS
What Parents Have To Say
About CERTS
We write this letter to help other parents who may
want to hear about our family’s Moonridge Academy
experience before making their own difficult decision…..
It’s very hard to think back to the time earlier this
year when our family was torn apart by the pain that our
daughter was experiencing – and thus all of us were
experiencing. She was desperate to find some peace. We
didn’t approve of the kids she was hanging out with, her
grades were dropping, she was cutting, she was becoming
sexually active, she was lying to us, and she was
manipulating us. She was diagnosed with depression,
anxiety and OCD. She was miserable.
Her therapist suggested Moonridge Academy. We went into
shock. We were surprised and a little hurt that our
daughter wanted to go (go…far away from where her
problems were, or so she thought.) The more we checked
into Moonridge and Kolob Canyon the more it sounded not
like the summer camp we originally thought it was, but
like boot camp, or “tough love” camp. How could we let
our 14 year old baby go half way across the country and
leave her with people we’d never met? Living with rules
the likes of which she’d never imagined! How in the
world could we trust these people we didn’t know? How
could we even trust ourselves to make this decision?
In one way, our decision may have been more difficult,
in that our daughter was not at what we thought was
“rock bottom”. Did we need to consider such a drastic
step? She was in terrible mental pain, but because there
were no drugs or suicide attempts involved, we felt it
was not life threatening. We may have been wrong in that
assessment, as our daughter now credits Moonridge for
“saving my life”. In another way, our decision may have
been easier because our daughter wanted to go to
Moonridge and felt it was her decision.
After many phone conversations with the Admissions
Director, we did a very careful business-like decision
analysis and then made the very personal, gut-wrenching
decision that we would try Moonridge. As we didn’t make
a preliminary visit, the Admissions Director said if it
didn’t feel right when we arrived, we could just all
walk away. Our daughter never asked to come back home
with us. Honestly, we’re divided on what we would have
done if she’d asked. (Mom probably would have said, give
it a try; Dad probably would have gladly taken her back
home.) But fortunately for all of us, our daughter was
totally motivated to stay and “get better”.
Leaving our daughter and Moonridge that day was the
hardest thing we’ve ever done or ever hope to have to
do. We prayed she was in good hands and we’d done the
right thing. While the staff we met when we dropped her
off did a good job of creating trust and confidence, the
separation and not knowing what was happening created a
high level of anxiety for us. Then came several weeks of
no contact with her. This was not a pretty picture. Mom
was angry. She wanted to talk to her daughter. It is a
miracle that we survived those first few weeks.
The first 10 minute phone call we got from our daughter
seemed like 2 seconds. It was torture. Our first family
therapy was cut short because our daughter wasn’t
“cooperating”. More torture. But more “secrets” kept
being revealed. Some really heavy duty stuff was being
exposed. It was very tough. Family therapy sessions were
draining. Very draining. And thought provoking.
The level work is also very demanding of the parents.
Parental commitment to do the level work is a critical
success factor. Do NOT underestimate the time, effort
and challenging thinking that is required. Your daughter
must know that you do it. (Send it to her so she sees
it.) You could spend full time on the assignments if you
were so inclined. We often spent entire weekends and
evenings on it. We were very dedicated about these
assignments and we believe you really do get out of the
program what you put into it. We weren’t about to mess
this up. We always had our level work completed before
our daughter, so as not to hold her back from level
advancement. (We were probably way too literal on this.)
The weekly phone call to the program director was our
lifeline to our daughter. We would keep her on the phone
for as long as possible – it was the next best thing to
talking to our daughter. Just to hear little day-to-day
details of life at Moonridge. Not all parents were
interested in this. The parent support group can be very
helpful if you take the initiative. There was no formal
interaction. True, sometimes we parents just needed to
complain, but sharing stories was also very helpful.
As you might be imagining, there is a happy ending to
this story. But we must be honest and say that it was
not all smooth sailing, there were many bumps along the
road. We still do not always believe in all the rules
and regulations, but we did follow them. We didn’t
always feel like we had been adequately advised of the
details of all rules and the impact of them on the
parents. But someone was always available to listen to
our complaints and suggestions. Communication was not
always what we wanted or expected. Mom focused on all
the details that were not as she expected, Dad tried
much harder to look at the bigger picture, to imagine
the end results. Moonridge is not perfect, but all the
people we met were concerned and caring and seemed
genuinely open to making continued improvements.
Once we got past a few family therapy sessions, we felt
a little more at ease with the whole program. Talking to
our daughter twice a week made a huge difference – it
was a real comfort, even if she may have been struggling
with some issues or homesick. We just wanted to hear her
voice.
There was great anticipation for the first Parent
Weekend. All the things Moonridge said to expect were
true – the bittersweet aspect of it especially. It was
wonderful to see our daughter. She did look great. She
was happy to see us. Because of her self-motivation, she
did not bombard us with the usual requests to return
home. We really worked on the issues. Every minute was
productive. At last we got to meet the all the staff and
the other girls and see how they all interacted with
each other. That was very helpful. Meeting the other
parents was also helpful. It was hard to leave, but we
finally had a real level of comfort in leaving our
daughter at Moonridge. Now we’d had some progress and
could see some light at the end of the tunnel. But not
for long…
Now starts the anxiety of parents wanting to plan and
prepare for graduation and homecoming. Way too early.
But that’s what we’re good at. Planning so that we miss
the fewest milestones possible. We’d already missed many
milestones (as will everyone who attends Moonridge.) We
missed Confirmation, 8th Grade Graduation and a trip to
Paris to mention a few of the highlights. Now we wanted
her to start school on time. All the things that
Moonridge cautions you against. Trying to plan home
visits around our schedule, not our daughter’s or
Moonridge’s. This last minute stuff is not how we
usually operate. It’s expensive too! We needed to
concentrate more on the level work and less on
graduation. It was a difficult time. And it caused
anxiety for our daughter knowing we were pushing her –
before she was ready. Her reluctance to move ahead
caused us additional stress. But still, her progress,
slow as it seemed to us, kept us all moving forward.
The first home visit was wonderful, but way too short
and tiring (immediately after a Parent Weekend – which
is emotionally draining itself). Once again, motivated
our daughter followed all the rules – never asked to
stay home. She was determined to graduate even though
several girls had already left the program without
graduating.
We just hung in there. Just kept doing the work. Just
kept on supporting our daughter. One more Parent
Weekend, one more home visit. Just kept on learning so
much. The books were wonderful. The 7 Habits of Highly
Effective Teens and Families, Parenting Teens, Reviving
Ophelia – all wonderful. Of course, we’d read 7
Habits/Families years before and got nowhere with it.
You really have to live it to, well…..live it. This time
around, we’re living it!
In addition to the one-on-one and group therapy, the
experiential therapy (equine, ropes, hikes, etc.) the
girls get is awesome. We’re not always sure it sinks in
at the time, but hopefully when it’s needed they can
retrieve it. Some of the special therapy Kent provides
was especially helpful for our daughter and Dad. Getting
that second 10 minute phone call each week was also
wonderful.
Home contract. We started early with Home Rules and used
it as a guideline for the home contract. We learned that
each girl/family is different. What worked for us may
not work for you. We were told that contracts were long
and detailed. That didn’t work for us. You will find
what works for you. This applies to the entire program.
It is very different for each family.
Graduation was a very exciting and nervous time for us –
we desperately wanted our daughter home. (And we were
still not happy about, but resigned to the fact that she
missed the first 2 weeks of school.) But would we be
able to live everything we learned? Would there be
serious set-backs, relapses? Dad was more worried than
Mom, but then Mom would think: maybe she wasn’t worried
enough. Our daughter too was very excited and nervous
and sad. She would be leaving all her friends and
support staff. People she lived with 24/7. It would be
scary, not to mention pretty boring and lonely at home
after what Dad called living at the sorority house.
It was the longest six months of our lives. But
ultimately it was the most productive six months.
Four months at home now…our daughter is at the local
school, making good friends who share her principles and
values. She is having fun and acting like a 14 year old.
She’s joined several clubs at school. She quit her dance
class, but still loves yoga. She begins volunteering at
the hospital next month. While we still do not share her
taste in clothing styles, we have learned to let go of
some our controlling ways. We are trying to let our
daughter make her own choices and live with the
consequences, and she is doing an excellent job.
Our daughter’s had a few meltdowns, but nothing too bad,
that she hasn’t been able to handle. Her biggest
adjustment was missing the girls and staff terribly. She
still calls weekly to talk to staff and she writes to
the girls too. No relapses of cutting or hanging out
with “non-working” friends. Only a few short “pity
parties”. This, despite the additional stress of
starting a new “High” school, not being selected for
Orchesis and not having a date for Homecoming.
Our daughter continues individual therapy that was just
reduced from once a week to every other week. She has
gone out with groups of friends but has not dated boys
and has taken excellent care of her plant (in lieu of a
boyfriend). She is following the home contract willingly
(well…with the exception of keeping her room clean – it
continues to be a disaster that we are overlooking in
the scheme of things.)
Our daughter is now a delight to be around. We
thoroughly enjoy her company. And she even enjoys, well…
ok, maybe tolerates our company. She makes us laugh and
we can even make her laugh. She occasionally reminds us
of some of the many lessons she’s learned at Moonridge.
And we all end up laughing! We have all changed
immensely. There are no regrets- only joy in our
new-found happiness and peace.
While the Moonridge program is demanding and
challenging, the results are rewarding and life
changing. The range of emotions that you may experience
throughout your journey will be greater than you could
ever have imagined. However there is great hope ahead if
our experience is any indication of the potential for
success.
We credit Moonridge as the catalyst for our daughter and
our entire family to have experienced such positive
growth. We anticipate and look forward to a Very Happy
New Year in 2005. We wish you the same.
We hope we have adequately expressed our appreciation
for all that everyone at Moonridge has done for our
family. “Thank you” doesn’t seem adequate, but then what
would? So, THANK YOU Moonridge.
Sincerely,
The “R” Family, IL
“Things had become unmanageable in my life with my 13
year old. They had been deteriorating for a year when I
sent her, at her request to live with her father. I
hoped that he would be able to do what I hadn't. She
left my home in Florida in June a year ago.
It was apparent to me from nearly the beginning that
there was less control with her dad than there had been
with me. The phone calls that I received were
distressing at best. A series of out of control
scenarios came in the form of late night calls and
discussions between her dad and I about what our options
were.
Finally at 2AM on a late November night, I got a call
stating that my daughter had taken 2 bottles of
over-the-counter pain medicine and she and my ex-husband
were headed for the local emergency room. The next day I
was on a plane to NYC, and at the beginning of the
destination of what ended up being Kolob Canyon
Residential Treatment Center.
When I got to the hospital, my daughter had gotten out
of intensive care and was on the pediatric ward with a
24-hour companion as she was in danger of suicide and
running. She was wild by any standards, unwilling to
talk and unrealistic about the seriousness of her
situation. She said she wanted to go out that weekend
and party with her friends! There was little getting
through to her and her father and I were totally
unprepared to take her home, knowing that she had no
intention of modifying her behavior. Her use of alcohol
and dabbling with drugs, sex and defiant behavior had
become her norm, and we were helplessly watching as our
daughter descended into a dark world. I called a friend
who is a therapist and got referrals of places that she
had successfully sent other teenagers who were troubled
and began the search for where to place our child.
Kolob was the place that caught my eye first and then
agreed upon by my ex-husband and our family who helped
with the financial arrangements. We liked the use of
equine therapy in addition to daily regular therapy and
the non-denominational spiritual focus. We felt we
needed at least 6 months for both our daughter to look
at her life and make changes and for us as parents to do
our own work. We realized that she hadn't gotten into
this situation alone. It was definitely all of us who
found ourselves here through misdirection and the
mishandling of many years of her life, and we all needed
to work to get her back.
Sending her was a very hard decision to make and our
daughter was very opposed initially. She was devastated
for the first month or so and so was I. She was angry
with me primarily and I wondered if I would ever have a
relationship with my daughter again.
As time went by and we began visiting on the parents’
weekends, the changes in her were astounding. She began
communicating and thinking in a new way.
She came home in June. She is still the same girl she
was, a teenager with difficulties and life challenges
abounding, but she has shown an integrity and sweetness
that I had forgotten she possessed. I am indebted to
Kolob and the staff there for giving me an opportunity
to know my child and with the possibility of seeing her
grow up into the amazing adult that I know she can be.
--Y. W., Florida
“She is much more rational and has learned
self-control and self-awareness at Kolob Canyon…She can
interact with her parents and her siblings on a much
more mature level. Thanks for the help. God Bless.”
--S. R., California
It has been nearly a year since our daughter
completed her program at Kolob Canyon. She is currently
a freshman in college and doing quite well; she is
making good choices around friendships, actively
participates in campus life and has been able to
prioritize when it comes to her studies. But perhaps
more important than her achievements, she has
reconnected with us and her siblings. We feel as though
we have our daughter back – the daughter who brought us
so much joy and who was so sensitive and caring as a
young child.
When we sent our daughter to Kolob Canyon we felt as
though we had exhausted our resources. We had been to
family therapy, individual therapy, an eating disorder
clinic, outpatient hospitalizations, a private single
sex school, parochial school and public schools. She had
been on a downward spiral and it seemed as though
nothing we did really mattered.
Kolob Canyon provided our daughter with a secure and
loving holding environment where, under the direction of
a well-trained and nurturing clinical staff, she could
begin to heal and reconnect with the good inside of
herself. While she was at Kolob we were also on the
journey with her and being challenged to do our
individual and family work. I believe that one of the
greatest strengths of Kolob Canyon’s program was the
family component. We can look back now and realize the
strength and growth we experienced as a couple and
family during our daughter’s treatment. Our entire
family is in a much better place at this point in how we
respect and communicate with one another. I am truly
grateful for the time my daughter spent at Kolob Canyon
and for the joy and laughter that has come back into our
lives!
--T.B., Pennsylvania
It was difficult to acknowledge that my daughter
needed help with life coping skills that I had been
unable to give her. When life's choices and challenges
lead our daughters to make decisions that are not
healthy and positive it is necessary to get help. Kolob
Canyon has been an extraordinary experience for my
daughter. She has amazed herself with the understanding
and perceptions that have evolved. The atmosphere is one
of nurturing and care without the escapes and pretenses
our teens use to avoid life.
My concerns that my daughter was not motivated,
confident, or optimistic about her future and her
self-harm led us to this program. The changes that she
feels and the self-knowledge that she now has are very
exciting for us both. I truly believe that this
experience and the lessons my daughter has learned not
only saved her life but also taught her skills and
insights that will help her to lead a happier and more
productive life. I can't imagine a better program for my
daughter and our family- her future is open to great
possibilities. I have not felt that way in a long time.
--K.F., California
“Just a long overdue note to let you know that our
daughter is doing ever-so-well. I am amazed that I am
actually enjoying my daughter’s company for maybe the
first time in many a year…She has met a nice young man
who neither drinks or smokes and she has been very
responsible in her dealing with me about him and
everything. She told me yesterday that she was in to
building trust!!! What a concept! I am so very grateful.
Thank you so very much. Whatever happened there was
indeed a blessing.”
--Y. W., Florida
I would just like to mention that Kolob Canyon
therapists really understood what all the parents were
going through and how everyone needed the support of
each other. Contact with others was encouraged as was
sharing. Although it was difficult to share, it was
extremely helpful to see and feel that you were not
alone. This instilled a feeling of closeness among the
parents and also a feeling of closeness with the
therapists as they shared their own experiences.
Another area in which Kolob excels is the availability
of the therapists. David was available day & night,
weekdays and weekends. It is a 24/7 job for him. He
cares.
-- M. L., Missouri
When I realized my daughter needed help, she was 16
and my husband and I felt that if nothing was done she
was going to be dead, hurt someone or someone would hurt
her. Kolob Canyon is saving our daughter's life .She is
learning the skills that we as parents somehow were not
successful at doing so. What I love about the program is
that it really involves the parents and my husband and I
in many ways feel that we too are in the program and we
have so much to learn.
Kolob canyon has been an answer to many prayers and
indeed we are blessed to have given our family an
opportunity to be a family...
May you too be blessed in your quest to find what is
best for you and your beloved daughters..
Aloha from Hawaii,
-- A.M., Hawaii
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